The Birth of Evie Barnett, Part II

Laboring at the hospital with my amazing doula.

We called our doula and let her know the “real thing” was going down, and she told me to run a hot bath, light some candles, and labor in the tub at home. So I did, and it was amazing. It’s incredible how relaxing the hot water is, and how much easier it is to labor. I stayed there for a few hours, and then got out to labor on the birth ball. At this point it was around 1am. My best friend came over and blow dried my hair while I labored in bed, and Matt buzzed about getting our bags ready for the hospital. He was amazing. My doula arrived soon after, and we decided to head to the hospital at around 1:30am.

I labored in the backseat on the birth ball on the way to the hospital, and in the parking lot. That was pretty interesting. Thankfully there was no traffic, and we actually ended up being the only people in labor and delivery that night. At this point my contractions were pretty overwhelming, and I would go from moaning and wailing to staying completely silent, and just letting the pain wash over me. I was amazed that I was handling it. But I remember what I learned in my Bradley class about focusing on one contraction at a time, and my doula would count down the seconds until it was over. Matt was my #1 cheerleader.

When we arrived at the hospital, they checked me, and I was at 9 centimeters! I couldn’t believe it. I was so elated that I had made it that far, and figured I would be pushing within the next few hours. That was the best feeling. We checked in to the labor and delivery suite, and I continued to labor on the birth ball for a while. Matt was amazing- I would hang on to him and go through a contraction, and he would hold me up with his arms. He was my rock, as usual.

Labor continued to be super painful, so I decided to get in the shower and labor under the hot water again. This made it much better, but by this time I was reaching the point of complete exhaustion. I was falling asleep on the shower floor in between contractions. My doula told me that the number one enemy of natural labor isn’t pain, but exhaustion, and not having sleep going into it. This was true for me. When I was in the shower, I remember having this sinking feeling that something just wasn’t right. Things weren’t moving forward like they should. The doctor (who was on call- not my regular doc, but wonderful nonetheless!) broke my water, and then checked me a few hours later. I was still at 9 centimeters, and Evie was still at -2 station, not descending at all. Her head was slightly sideways, and just continued to hit against my cervix without being able to move into the birth canal.

By 7am, they decided to put me in the “pretzel” position to see if that would help move her into the right space. This turned out to make the pain completely unbearable. At this point I was beyond exhausted, and simply couldn’t stand it anymore. I begged for the epidural! I remember telling the anesthesiologist that if he didn’t get the medication in me before the next contraction he would be in trouble. To my surprise, my doctor actually tried to talk me out of it. For everything I had thought about doctors pushing drugs, my experience was just the opposite. She looked me in they eye and said, “Remember your birth plan- I just don’t want you to do anything you will regret later.” What an amazing lady! But at that point, I had simply had enough.

I must say… the epidural was quite lovely. Not only could I finally relax, but that was the most comfortable I had been not just in labor, but during pregnancy! In the last trimester it was really hard to get comfortable, but this was simply amazing. We all rested for about 3 hours as my contractions continued, and we monitored the baby’s progress.

By 12pm that day, unfortunately nothing had changed. I was still at 9cm, and she hadn’t budged.  At this point they decided to give me Pitocin to strengthen my contractions, to see if that would help move things along. The only thing it did was stress the baby out, and make her heart rate go haywire. We held out as long as we could. I didn’t want to think that this might end up in the worst case I had ever imagined; a c-section. The doctor was so patient, and she told us that the baby would need to come out eventually, but that she wasn’t in danger, and we could take our time to process the situation.

Once it hit me, I began to cry. Hard. I couldn’t believe, after all this, that we had no other option. That nothing had changed. Matt and I had a moment alone. We cried together. It was a really beautiful moment- I asked him if he was disappointed in me, if he thought I should have tried harder. If I made the right decisions. Through tears, he told me that I was amazing and he was so proud of me. Those words wouldn’t have meant the same thing to me if I had achieved the smooth natural delivery that we had hoped for.

So at 1:30pm on Sunday, December 4th, I was wheeled into the operating room. At this point I just wanted to meet my daughter. Matt was scrubbed up and met me in the room. I wasn’t scared- I had mentally detached myself from what was actually happening,   and was just focused on the baby. I was fully awake and alert the whole time. Matt was right by my side. We wrote a song for the baby called “Face to Face” and he played it on his phone during the surgery, and the moment she was born. It was absolutely beautiful. Needless to say, we were a mess of tears. I never imagined the amount of love I could have for another human being.

Our first family photo!