A Long Vacation…

As is painfully obvious, my vacation to Florida apparently sent me into a tailspin of taking vacation from everything else in life… including  my blog.

As you may have read in older posts, I have been going through a very interesting personal journey over the past few months, and as soon as I thought I was out of the woods, it got even more interesting. I am definitely not a believer in “coming full circle”. That is such a terrible metaphor for life. Nothing is that symmetrical or mathematical, or predictable.  I picture it more as a zig-zag line, somtimes going forward, sometimes back, until you reach your destination.

I came through one test, feeling victorious, and then I heard the Lord say “I’m not done with you yet.” “Really Lord? Can I just feel like I have arrived already?” I guess this vacation has been an opportunity for me to continue evaluating my life, my choices, my relationships, and myself. I have even evaluated why I blog! *gasp*

I remember one day sitting in a staff meeting, telling my boss all the various activities I was involved in. He looked me square in the eye, and said “Hilary, you are driven.” At first I was flattered, thinking, “wow, he’s giving me a compliment! Sweet.” But it wasn’t. He proceeded to tell me that there is a huge difference between being driven and being called. I had never in my life heard of being driven as a bad thing.  Our culture tells you that this is the only way you can succeed.  I am now in the process of stripping everything away except that which I am called to do in this season of life. It is a painful for a person who finds her meaning and significance in “doing” and being busy, but I know it is a necessary process for me to know my true identity in Christ, and see His perfect plan unfolding in my life.

So some things I will take a long vacation from, others I will continue to take part in. This blog is one of those things I plan to keep. For the sake of full divulgence, following is a list of things I have given up for the time being:

- volunteering with hospice

- volunteering with the Public Guardianship for the Elderly program

- leading worship at church

- getting e-mails from a million random organizations (no more clogged inbox = less stress!)

- thinking up a new business venture/creative idea every single day

- pressuring myself to read 5 books/month

- reading all the blogs in my Google Reader (sometimes I hit “mark all as read” without reading them- you should try it sometime- a very naughty but good feeling)

- trying to listen to and keep up with several different podcasts at once

- comparing my “success” and achievements to others- this never bodes well for me

- going to every social event that I am invited to

Some of these things are great things, and I’m sure I will get back to them some day. But for now I’m on vacation!