Evie: One Month
With inspiration from Ashley’s blog, I decided to do a monthly “Evie update”. This is partially for me, to record things that I will most likely forget someday, and for those out there who are interested in the development of this precious little one. Thanks to my bestie Danielle for making her these monthly onesies!
She:
Has completely stolen my heart. I honestly was not a kid or baby person prior to this. I keep marveling at how I just wasn’t that excited about babies- they just seemed like little blobby humans that squirmed and pooped and cried. But having one of your own changes everything. I know her little personality already! Her funny faces, her laughs, smiles, and her “I’m pooping” face. Which is actually amusing to me. Who knew this little human could turn me and her dad into mushy balls of mushness.
Is laughing and smiling all the time now. Every morning when we wake up, we spend at least ten minutes just cracking up in each other’s faces. She is actually making little coo and squeal noises now, which makes it even more awesome. She does this with her dad as well!
Gets excited and starts breathing really heavily and spastically kicking her leg. This is also hilarious.
Loves to stare at colorful things and lights. She gets happy and laughs at them. I put her in front of a picture of Ray Charles the other day, and they had a lovely little conversation. She was mesmerized. Hey, gotta start her off early with the musical greats.
Smiles in her sleep, and when I sing to her. This makes me the happiest person on the planet.
Stares intently at people’s faces, and checks them out. This kid is focused.
Is starting to sleep in her crib and bassinet- the first few weeks home, she would simply sleep nowhere but right next to me. This made me nervous, as I had heard about the “dangers of cosleeping”, but after talking to some folks and doing a little research, I learned that it’s not as bad as people think. It can actually help regulate the baby’s breathing patterns and heart rate at night. I just needed to get sleep, and so we did what we had to do. But now when she falls asleep in her bassinet, I still hold her hand. I might miss her just a little. 
She is quite snuggly.
Has been one amazing little traveler. She sleeps in her car seat better than anywhere. Matt loves taking her out and about, it is their bonding time. He actually took her to the mall on Christmas Eve! Crazy, I know. She has already been to my work, several coffee shops around town, the pediatrician a few times, our small group, and my friend’s 30th birthday party! Here’s to getting out of the house.
I:
Am healing really well from surgery. I had a doctor appointment yesterday, and I am all clear to return to normal activities. I was already driving (ssshh), but now I can go back to the gym, which makes me very happy.
Have three more weeks left of maternity leave, and am wondering how in the world I am going to spend any time away from this precious girl. I guess I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, I am enjoying this special time together and just living in the moment.
Am loving cloth diapering! Not as hard as I thought it would be, thanks to the help of a good friend who held my hand in the beginning and showed me what to buy and how to put them on her.
Am getting more sleep than I thought at this point. There have been some super rough nights with many tears (on my part and hers), but she is now sleeping up to four hours in between nighttime feedings. What a champ.
Am so excited to watch how this little one grows!
For more pictures of Evie’s first month, click here.
To listen to her playlist on Spotify, click here.
Hilary Barnett Life Coaching- Now Open for Business!
With the New Year now in full swing, I am so excited to announce the start of my new life coaching business! As many of you know, I have been working toward a Master of Arts in Practical Theology at Regent University for the past six years. This past summer I took an elective class called “Leadership Coaching for Life Focus” that completely changed my way of thinking. I had an “aha!” moment! I always knew that I was passionate about transformation, growth, and leadership, but this course gave me the tools to better understand how growth is achieved. I decided to pursue certification in coaching through an International Coach Federation accredited organization called Lifeforming Leadership Coaching. I am so excited and pleased to announce that I am now a certified coach!
I’ve always know that I wanted to write, teach, and make a difference in people’s lives, but I was never really sure how that would happen- what I would actually “do” on a daily basis. Now I know. Coaching is a perfect fit, and I truly believe that God will allow me to utilize these new skills to make a significant impact in the lives of my clients and those around me through what I have learned. I am so excited to share it with anyone who is looking for positive growth in their life. There is no gimmick, no “quick fix”- it involves hard work and determination, but through this training I have come to understand the power of a meaningful conversation, and what a coach can do to truly help someone transform their life.
Thank you for reading, and I look forward to where God will take this new adventure! For more information on coaching, click here.
The Birth of Evie Barnett, Part II
Laboring at the hospital with my amazing doula.
We called our doula and let her know the “real thing” was going down, and she told me to run a hot bath, light some candles, and labor in the tub at home. So I did, and it was amazing. It’s incredible how relaxing the hot water is, and how much easier it is to labor. I stayed there for a few hours, and then got out to labor on the birth ball. At this point it was around 1am. My best friend came over and blow dried my hair while I labored in bed, and Matt buzzed about getting our bags ready for the hospital. He was amazing. My doula arrived soon after, and we decided to head to the hospital at around 1:30am.
I labored in the backseat on the birth ball on the way to the hospital, and in the parking lot. That was pretty interesting. Thankfully there was no traffic, and we actually ended up being the only people in labor and delivery that night. At this point my contractions were pretty overwhelming, and I would go from moaning and wailing to staying completely silent, and just letting the pain wash over me. I was amazed that I was handling it. But I remember what I learned in my Bradley class about focusing on one contraction at a time, and my doula would count down the seconds until it was over. Matt was my #1 cheerleader.
When we arrived at the hospital, they checked me, and I was at 9 centimeters! I couldn’t believe it. I was so elated that I had made it that far, and figured I would be pushing within the next few hours. That was the best feeling. We checked in to the labor and delivery suite, and I continued to labor on the birth ball for a while. Matt was amazing- I would hang on to him and go through a contraction, and he would hold me up with his arms. He was my rock, as usual.
Labor continued to be super painful, so I decided to get in the shower and labor under the hot water again. This made it much better, but by this time I was reaching the point of complete exhaustion. I was falling asleep on the shower floor in between contractions. My doula told me that the number one enemy of natural labor isn’t pain, but exhaustion, and not having sleep going into it. This was true for me. When I was in the shower, I remember having this sinking feeling that something just wasn’t right. Things weren’t moving forward like they should. The doctor (who was on call- not my regular doc, but wonderful nonetheless!) broke my water, and then checked me a few hours later. I was still at 9 centimeters, and Evie was still at -2 station, not descending at all. Her head was slightly sideways, and just continued to hit against my cervix without being able to move into the birth canal.
By 7am, they decided to put me in the “pretzel” position to see if that would help move her into the right space. This turned out to make the pain completely unbearable. At this point I was beyond exhausted, and simply couldn’t stand it anymore. I begged for the epidural! I remember telling the anesthesiologist that if he didn’t get the medication in me before the next contraction he would be in trouble. To my surprise, my doctor actually tried to talk me out of it. For everything I had thought about doctors pushing drugs, my experience was just the opposite. She looked me in they eye and said, “Remember your birth plan- I just don’t want you to do anything you will regret later.” What an amazing lady! But at that point, I had simply had enough.
I must say… the epidural was quite lovely. Not only could I finally relax, but that was the most comfortable I had been not just in labor, but during pregnancy! In the last trimester it was really hard to get comfortable, but this was simply amazing. We all rested for about 3 hours as my contractions continued, and we monitored the baby’s progress.
By 12pm that day, unfortunately nothing had changed. I was still at 9cm, and she hadn’t budged. At this point they decided to give me Pitocin to strengthen my contractions, to see if that would help move things along. The only thing it did was stress the baby out, and make her heart rate go haywire. We held out as long as we could. I didn’t want to think that this might end up in the worst case I had ever imagined; a c-section. The doctor was so patient, and she told us that the baby would need to come out eventually, but that she wasn’t in danger, and we could take our time to process the situation.
Once it hit me, I began to cry. Hard. I couldn’t believe, after all this, that we had no other option. That nothing had changed. Matt and I had a moment alone. We cried together. It was a really beautiful moment- I asked him if he was disappointed in me, if he thought I should have tried harder. If I made the right decisions. Through tears, he told me that I was amazing and he was so proud of me. Those words wouldn’t have meant the same thing to me if I had achieved the smooth natural delivery that we had hoped for.
So at 1:30pm on Sunday, December 4th, I was wheeled into the operating room. At this point I just wanted to meet my daughter. Matt was scrubbed up and met me in the room. I wasn’t scared- I had mentally detached myself from what was actually happening, and was just focused on the baby. I was fully awake and alert the whole time. Matt was right by my side. We wrote a song for the baby called “Face to Face” and he played it on his phone during the surgery, and the moment she was born. It was absolutely beautiful. Needless to say, we were a mess of tears. I never imagined the amount of love I could have for another human being.
Our first family photo!
The Birth of Evangeline “Evie” Quinn Barnett, Part I
Our little daughter is here! It is amazing that she has finally arrived. We are settling into our new life here at home, and I now have a quiet moment to reflect on her birth and record some of these precious memories. Our pediatrician said something to me when we brought Evie in for her first appointment that I will never forget, and it is the overarching theme of our experience: “Babies write their own birth stories”. That couldn’t be more true for this little one.
There are many things that I didn’t know about pregnancy, but one that came as the biggest surprise to me is that the due date truly means nothing. This date that you hang your every hope upon can come and go without so much as a whimper. It can become just another day, and that is a strange feeling. Exactly one week before my due date, I began having what’s known as “prodromal labor”. I had very mild contractions for 24 hours that felt like the beginning of labor, but never progressed. Being awakened in the middle of the night with pain made it hard to sleep- that first night I simply sat in anticipation and excitement. I took the next few days off work to relax, and wrap my head around what was happening. There is nothing more frustrating than being in pain, and being told it is “false labor”. Nothing about it feels false. My doula told me to take a few Benadryl and get as much sleep as possible- that this was the beginning and I would need my rest. Two days later Matt and I did some of the typical “helpful” activities to bring on labor– ahem. Those included, among the obvious, eggplant parmesan, brisk mall walking, and acupuncture. I just knew we could help things along!
The following Friday evening, one day after the due date, I began to have pains again. We were watching Star Wars with our friends, (yes, you read that correctly), and I decided that this was definitely it. I went to take a long shower, and thought for sure I would be in full-on labor within the next few hours. Instead, I had mildly painful contractions all night, and into the next morning. By the following day I was so tired and frustrated. My doula told me to take another Benadryl and take a nap, but I couldn’t sleep. I called my best friend and asked her if we could go get some frozen yogurt, and she took me to get a pedicure as well. We asked the gentleman who was giving my pedicure to press really hard on the pressure points that induced labor. He must have done something right.
Matt came home later that evening, and I distinctly remember telling him that I was dreading the possibility of going into labor that night because I was so exhausted. Well, about five minutes later I did just that. I remember my doula telling me “you will know when it’s the real thing.” Now I understood. This was much more painful than my previous contractions. I looked at Matt and told him it was finally time. At this point, I think we were both so doubtful that it was actually happening, we didn’t really accept it until about an hour later when my contractions were coming much closer together. So, my journey into natural labor began on Saturday, December 3rd, two days after my due date, at 9pm.
